Through Struggle

I wait

2009-02-12T23:01:00.001-08:00

I wait all day,
looking up every minute or so
to see if she's online.

I hold my breath and tense all over
the moment I see her name with the green light next to it..
And I wait

I wait all through the time she's online..
wondering what happening in her life..
wondering who she might be speaking to ..
wondering about all the stupid "what ifs" in this whole wide world..

I wait,
I dont know for what
Holding my breath throughout
until the green light goes off
and she's not there anymore.

I let out a sigh (was that relief?)
and I wait for tomorrow
I dont know for what.

Slumdog Millionaire :(

2009-02-07T03:07:00.000-08:00

Finally, got to watch slumdog millionaire last week , and to be frank i didnt like it.. guess its just all the hype that makes you expect more out of it.
The movie revolves around a mediocre story that has nothing great to offer, dialogues that suck and a diction that's pretty irritating . I have no idea what with the Anil Kapoor character that's missing -- something hollow.
Acting also, was below par, except for the junior artists ( the kids) -- who is should say did an excellent work -- :) however, the rest was pretty sad -- even the lead roles.. And -- rahman ... well, he probably deserved oscars for his musical scores in earlier movies ( roja), but not for this one .. there wasnt anything special about it and the only song that was enjoyable was 'jai ho' that came in the end..
Overall, i wonder how it won the globes.. and don't really see why it should win the oscars....

Life of Pi

2009-02-05T21:17:00.000-08:00

Too bored with life and too jobless -- i went online to check out a list for 100 must read books :) =-- thats where I came around -- "Life of Pi" by Canadian author Yann Martel.. Now that i've finished reading -- i should say -- it defnitely is a "must read before you die" book. Reaches out to you in a very different manner.. There are many parts thatI feel was great, especially:

1. "These people fail to realize that it is on the inside that God must be defended, not on the outside.They should direct their anger at themselves. For evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart. Meanwhile, the lot of widows and homeless children is very hard, and it is to their defence, not God's, that the self-righteous should rush."

2. "I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind,
always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread."

3. "It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did,
and your heart is heavy with remorse."

I'd like to quote many more -- but I'd rather have you read the book...

...

2009-01-14T21:23:00.000-08:00

i hated this place like hell when i was here - but coming back here after just abreak of 1 months feels so good -- like coming home ..familiar faces, familiar places .. im missing VIT !!

Sunset in Vellore

2008-09-28T09:39:00.001-07:00

Vellore is the kind of place that grows on you ... takes time to start loving it. Very few things that pull you to it. The skies in evenings should definitely be one of them. The flat plains pierced by the occasional hills in the distance offers a great view. Both pics above taken from the Brahmapuram temple. Vinoth in pic.

Pondy

2008-09-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

couldn't take out the cam as soon as i wished to. the elephant had already passed ...
it was on the way to pondy.... was one of the best times of my life .. for one reason -- i was in love - and madly. and thought it was reciprocated -- only to be disproved just a couple of days later.. nevertheless -- pondi was a once in a life time experience. we took, the band, booked cottages on the auroville beach -- the peace and tranquility in itself was overwhelming. the show didn't turn out to be great -- but everything else we did was awesome .... the biking through the rain-- drunk till we couldn't stand, late night conversations on the beach, the breakfast at the french bakery, her phone calls ......

Three Kings

2008-09-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

In the pic - Nadar Kumaran(left), Harish Iyer(centre) and Vinoth(right)... three geniuses of their own kind.. Nadar, popularlry known as pshyco -- has a very funny temperament throughout always carefree, but hard working and brainy, Harish is more reckless and can be quite pissing off at times but very sincere on the other hand -- cannot stay more than 2 hours without a smoke ..last, but more like the leader of the group is Vinoth..aka..Kudigaran:) -- has the ability to pull people towards him, knows how to make and maintain friends... creative, level headed and a great friend..

The Gig in God's Own Country

2008-09-27T14:29:00.000-07:00

the pic shows sun set on 31 dec 2006 ,taken from Poovar Island in Kerala -- we were setting up the drums for the new year gig at the resort when wew noticed it .. waited for 20 mins to get that boat under the sun.. one of the best shows i did with rubburband..that night

Paying Taxes

2008-09-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

Forsaken souls in the desert wind
or the wings of a fallen angel
can't even tell it happened so fast
they stay a while and then they leave

like the time when johny fell down
on that lovely august evening fall
listening to the music play
listening to the birds sing away

No escaping paying taxes
paying it to the world

she walked into my life with her shaded eyes and that brilliant smile
thought she was all i'd ever need
i see my vision burn, i feel my memories fade with time
she was gone before i knew ..

no escaping paying taxes..
paying it to yourself

temple on the hill

2008-09-24T15:28:00.000-07:00

the lonely temple on the hill.. went there first time alone .. out of loneliness or to get away from the socialising ..
the locals say its cursed -- which is why there's no pujas or ceremonies carried out during the week.. safe haven for those who seek peace and quite from the bustle in the university.
think its there onwards i started to enjoy the simple beauty of this almost barren countryside of vellore.. the lonely roads .. snaking out into the middle of nowhere -- the occasional train chugging past in the distant track.. vit seems such a distant thing from so far and above ...

3 o Clock

2008-09-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

three O clock in the morning -- its raining outside -- feels cold without the blanket -- squinting at this screen. makes me wonder ... how all the illusions are swept away .. all things you've dreamed up crashing down even before you've put up anything.
and in the loss i don't lose this silly pride.. this notion that having engineered a waste of a life is license enough to lecture and try to edit others lives.
three o clock in the morning, it's cold and lonely , unsettling and depressing-- that i have to forget this dream i dreamt of you. i've given up -- but hoped it would have ended better ... ended too soon , abrupt , hard and crushing .

should probably go to sleep .. more presentations, case studies and term papers when i wake up . just lost interest... go to sleep.

This is me

2008-07-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

well -- been a long time thinking off starting this -- so this is me now here. Finishing off with MBA at Vellore -- exploring the beauties of a barren land